I had an epiphany walking down our pitch-dark stairs one recent morning, 5:45 am. Isn’t it strange when that happens? Strange because it actually happens, anytime and anyplace, and because the epiphany can be about the most random topic.
Here was mine, it flashed to me right when I hit that bottom step: Why do I convince myself to wait for a while before phoning a friend who is going through an issue of some sort? How many times have I thought, “I’ll call next week, he/she’s dealing with some stuff right now and I don’t want to be a bother and intrude.”
Really? That thought alone brings some hefty assumptions:
· First of all, why do I think my friend (insert family member, co-worker, or whoever here) will think I’m such a nuisance? Am I afraid the person’s going to pick up the phone and yell, “WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING ME? ARE YOU HEARTLESS?!?!”
· And am I so all-important that my call, even just a short “Hey, how’re you doing?” is going to thoroughly disrupt my friend’s ability to deal with whatever it is they’re trying to address? Am I so afraid the person will answer my call, “Well you just screwed up my entire life, but thanks for the call, nimrod!”?
· Why do I presume my friend wants to handle the issue all alone? Will my friend-in-need tell me, “Can you call me back later? I really want to endure further suffering all by myself, especially without you or anyone else in the entire universe.”?
· Am I such a pathetic loser that I truly won’t be of any help to my friend at all? Am I certain the reply to my call will be, “You really think you can help me….YOU?! Help ME?! Hahahahahahahahaha!”
As you can see, the assumptions are all mine, and mostly about me. Not the friend that I want to call, that I should call. What kind of friend thinks it’s best to keep away from a friend when he is struggling?
No more assumptions, from now on: I’M JUST GOING TO CALL. That was my epiphany.
And friends, the same goes for me: bother me, please! And if I hang up on you, please realize that it’s nothing personal. I’m just going through some stuff. But thanks for being my friend, nimrod.
(Additional Note: I wrote this BLOG three days before Robin Williams’ lifeless body was found after an apparent suicide. So sad, such a tragic loss. So full of Life.)